Calvin: Because of You – My Girl Won’t Have Sex With Me

Posted: May 19th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Personal Development, Relationships | Tags: , , | 1 Comment »

So, here I was, about a year or two ago now, stranded.

I was locked out of my office, which meant I was also locked out of my house, which meant I was also locked out of my car. But thankfully I had a cell phone.

So, I called a buddy of mine and asked if I could sleep on his couch until morning when I could get in my office and get my keys. He came, picked me up and we arrived at his place. So, we are on the couch watching the NBA and his other friend walks in who I also know and would consider a friend of mine.

So, we are all sitting there on the couch, when he says, “Calvin, because of you, my girlfriend won’t have sex with me anymore.” So, I sit there for a second, because I am not quite sure how did he mean that.

“Is he mad because unknowingly I changed his woman’s mind to sex and respect?”

“Is he about to express his feelings in unfriendly ways (it can be tough to take sex from a man that isn’t ready)?”

“Um… how did that happen?”

So, I look at him and ask, “How did I do that?”

He responds, “She reads your notes and one night in bed, she just said, “After reading Calvin’s notes, let’s not have sex anymore and (a), (b), (c) and (d). I am shocked! Part of me is happy because man, I am making an impact but the other part is still not sure about how this young sir is about to respond to me.

But he looks at me and smiles and says, “It is all good, I appreciate your notes also. They are good to read.” Whew!!! :) I was a very happy camper and the conversation went back to sports and life. The next day, I got back into my office and continued on with my life.

But, I am writing this note because you never know who is watching and who you can influence. You can change the world without much effort and without even trying. Make an impact in someone’s life today.

Man Challenge: Woman, You Are Beautiful

Posted: May 19th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Personal Development, Relationships | Tags: , , , | No Comments »

Too many times the only times a woman hears from a man that she is beautiful is when you are attempting to get her undressed or something else material from her. Today is the day, that we as men need to prize and appreciate our woman as more than objects of our gratification and satisfaction.

I have only been on the earth a few years but I have learned that women do desire to receive some level of approval from a man or men in general. So, lets not make them have to get undressed to receive that level of satisfactions. I believe that there is a level of emotional capacity that we as men have been afraid to reach for fear of reaching this level will lower our masculinity or appear to make us soft.

However, I believe that by recognizing and being able to communicate to a woman on this emotional level, we show true strength.

So, men, today I challenge you and here is said challenge:

To tell 1 or more women that (doesn’t have to be the woman you are not sleeping with or trying to sleep with – would be better if it wasn’t) that she is beautiful.

I do not mean the, “her body is beautiful,” or “her hair/face is beautiful.” I mean the genuine, your spirit (which consists of mind, emotions, heart) is beautiful. We are using the adjective beautiful as defined here on dictionary.com:

–adjective

1. having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind: a beautiful dress; a beautiful speech.
2. excellent of its kind: a beautiful putt on the seventh hole; The chef served us a beautiful roast of beef.
3. wonderful; very pleasing or satisfying.

This here is more than just an outward appearance. When I challenge you to tell this woman that she is beautiful mean and if you possess the emotional capacity tell her why, “because you overcome so much to be who you are,” “because you work so hard at …,” “because you are always the nicest person in the office.” Whatever it maybe find some way to make today, that woman’s day.

After you will feel like a real man.

Dating in 2009 – Through Technology

Posted: March 3rd, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Relationships, Web | Tags: , | 1 Comment »

Through a few conversations and some of my own experience, I just had some funny thoughts on how dating has changed in our generation. So this note will be written a little different then some of mine in the past, it will be more like before and after.

Before

- Boy sees Girl somewhere on the street
- Boy asks around about Girl
- Boy approaches Girl and asks for number

After

- Boy sees Girl in Facebook photo of a mutual friend that tagged her
- Boy asks mutual friend about tagged Girl and if possible reads her profile and finds out about her
- Boy asks Girl to be her Friend and chats through facebook

—————-&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&—————–

Before

- Boy and Girl have a long distance relationship and they write letters/phone calls/send pictures

After

- Boy and Girl have a long distance relationship, Skype/Video Chat and watch each other while playing online games

—————-&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&—————–

Before

- Boy and Girl text each other all day

After

- Boy and Girl direct tweet each other and don’t even need to exchange numbers

—————-&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&—————–

Before

- Boy asks his friends about a girl he is interested in
- Boy goes through multiple conversations to learn about Girl

After

- Boy reads her fb page, tweets, and blogs and puts together a real good picture of who she is compared to who she says she is

—————-&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&—————–

Before

- Boy asks Girl to tell him about herself
- Boy listens to a long conversation

After

- Boy asks Girl to tell him about herself
- Girl gives Boy the link to the Random List of 25 Things About Me

—————-&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&—————–

Before

- Boy tries to be respectful and slick to check out Girl’s body and catches just glimpses

After

- Boy spends as long as he wants looking at Girl’s pictures and has his boys look as well to decide to holla or not.

—————-&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&—————–

Before

- Boy and Girl stay up all night on the phone

After

- Boy and Girl stay up all night instant messenger and text messaging

—————-&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&—————–

Before

- Boy and Girl go out of their way to find eachother and just say hey during the day

After

- Boy and Girl send picture mail through their phones

—————-&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&—————–

My Very Special Valentine..

Posted: February 14th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Personal Development, Relationships | Tags: , | 1 Comment »
This will be a valentine’s day that I never forget. My special valentine was such a blessing to me and has me going to sleep on cloud nine… I can’t wait to return the favor…

My Valentine’s Day was much like any other day, I slept in some because I had been working alot. Did somethings around the house and planned on going to the office. I didn’t feel like I got enough time in reading my bible so I took it with me to the office.

When I was heading to the office, I had a hunger for a Whopper (Burger King) but when I went to the one by my house, it was one rather dirty, they were out of meat, and I was just not enjoying that experience.

So, I got a chicken sandwich that made me wish I went to McDonalds instead. I did some things with my church around noon and then hit the office by 2. Worked for a few hours and then had another hunger for a Whopper. So, I decided that it would be great to take my books, catch up my reading and enjoy my whopper.

So I did that, went to BK, had a great time, this gentleman started a conversation because he saw what I was reading and we had a very pleasant conversation. I continued reading and went back to the office. Then 3 or 4 hours, maybe 5 later, I got another desire for food and a Belgium Waffle from IHOP was on the brain so off I went. Here is where my Valentine comes into play.

I am seated at IHOP and I get comfortable, place my order and begin to read while they are fixing my food. I look up to my right and there is this older woman with what I presume is her husband having dinner. I can tell they are watching me read as they may not expect me to be reading the books at IHOP (I am wearing jeans, hoddie, backwards black hat, and Ipod in ears – listening to Harvard Business Review).

Then I receive my food and here goes my valentine into action. As I was enjoying my golden brown waffle, I notice that the lady jumped up and went to the waiter to talk about something. I figured she just wanted her bill, she was there before me. But then, my waitress comes by and I ask for the check and she said the lady over there paid for you.

I was so blessed that my special Valentine decided to be a great blessing on my Valentine’s Day. I was also so blessed that God put me on her heart for her to pay for my meal. She was a older white woman with her husband, dressed down and in most situations you wouldn’t even notice them but I believe that God used them to bless me so God could tell me Happy Valentine’s Day.

I always wanted to pay for someone’s meal and be a blessing to them and I appreciate the fact that it happened to me. The next valentine’s day that I am out and I am able to, I will sow that blessing into someone else’s life.

Thank you My Valentine, Your Kind Act Shall Not Be Forgotten….

Happy Valentine’s Day… If no one told you that they love you today, God loves you and so do I!

PS. She also left a banging tip for the waitress over 60%!

Business Etiquette – Meals

Posted: January 31st, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Professional Development, Relationships | Tags: | No Comments »
Just fyi – when you ask someone out to a meal, it is proper etiquette that you then are expected to pay.

Just crossed the mind…

C.

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