Before I Say There Aren’t Any Good Women…

I was being told by the movies, media (thank you CNN “Black in America”), and even friends that there really are no good women out there. I thought maybe it was because of my location, therefore I began to travel around while conducting business and I will find her. So, through business and speaking engagements, I am traveled the country. I was traveling conducting business but my head was on a swivel just in case.

One day, a thought ran across my mind, I don’t know if I thought it or it was placed there by the countless impressions from those around me saying the same thing, but I thought, maybe there aren’t any good women… What if I am single forever? I rejected that thought and dove headstrong in my work, community service and church. Whatever would consume my thinking… Days turned to weeks and weeks to months…

Until one day…

This day was much like any other and I heard a man say, “Take responsibility for your situation. Your situation is the result of your choices and actions.” It stuck with me and started a landslide of thoughts. Although, publicly, I was fine and content being the business man and “on the go.” Privately, I desired to have someone to come home to.

With that thought, “take responsibility for my situation,” I began at the beginning. I looked over past relationships and saw how many women were not good but great woman but due to my actions, lack of maturity, or self-centeredness were gone. After a few months of doing this personal self evaluation, I found several areas that I was lacking in and caused me to be blind to the good women that were before me the whole time.

My mother has a saying, “Perception is reality.” I want to extend it to, “Your perception is your reality.” Because of my flawed perception, my reality was that there weren’t any good women or it was hard to find a woman. When I froze the perception that I was looking out of, like broken glasses worn on the face, I saw that my vision was off. My lenses were slightly fractured and the world I operated in was the result of that.

Was the world actually fractured? No, just my perception. Only after taking the time to take responsibility for my actions could I identify my fractures in my perception. After identifying my fractures, I went to those that I look up to, those to whom I hold in high regard and I asked them what are the solutions to my fractures. I respected them enough and desired strongly to change that I began down the path to adjust, correct, and, renew my perspective.

Something interesting began to happen as I worked on my fractured bifocals. What I thought couldn’t be found was clearly and easily seen. The things that I desired in my life, could be attained with less blunt force because my vision had been aligned.

We live in a culture that is outwardly focused, self-centered, and honestly arrogant. We no longer live in a world where people take responsibility for their actions and the situations in which they live in. Due to this hesitation, fear, or strength, we continue to address only the symptoms of our problems but never the root. It isn’t anyone else’s fault that we missed that payment, that we got that speeding ticket, and that we have to work hard to come from behind.

We must take responsibility for our situations, only at that point can we begin to address the problems in ours life.

I hope that at the conclusion of this note, you never blame, slide, or push the blame onto anyone else. I hope that we can mature as a people and country and see that we are involved in the cause of our problems so we must be involved in the cause of the solutions.

So Favor Isn’t Fair?

What is Favor? There are several definitions but I am going to choose this one, “an act of gracious kindness.” You could also say that favor is being blessed (receive an act of gracious kindness) even when we don’t deserve it.

So, you could say that we are all favored (the recipients of gracious kindness) because we have all done things that weren’t the best but [sometimes in the same day] received an act of gracious kindness.

I propose to you that the degree in which we recognize and appreciate the favor that we receive actually entitles you to more favor. If you are a parent, mentor, big brother/sister, or anyone in authority over someone else, when you do an act of gracious kindness to someone and they appreciate, recognize and thank you for it, does it not motivate you to do even more?

So to say that favor isn’t fair, I say is true, because who can actually say on their own merits/efforts/work they deserved to be favored (receive an act of gracious kindness).
So, I charge you, the next time you receive an act of favor (an act of gracious kindness) be thankful and watch more favor enter into your life.

#ManMeals – Grilled Greek Chicken

What is a #ManMeal?

A Man Meal is a meal that any man can make even with limited cooking skills! I started doing this because I am a man and I want meals that I can easily make and taste better than rice + sugar! So, if you have any suggestions please do not hesitate to let me know…

Now, I can’t take credit for this meal, this is all Ms. Underhill for this one. So thank her! Please check out Decadent Butters, the sponsor for this #ManMeal!

Enjoy

#ManMeal – Kabobs

What is a #ManMeal?

A Man Meal is a meal that any man can make even with limited cooking skills! I started doing this because I am a man and I want meals that I can easily make and taste better than rice + sugar! So, if you have any suggestions please do not hesitate to let me know…

Now, I can’t take credit for this meal, this is all Ms. Underhill for this one. So thank her! Please check out Decadent Butters, the sponsor for this #ManMeal! :Kabobs

#ManMeals – Grilled Salmon

What is a #ManMeal?

A Man Meal is a meal that any man can make even with limited cooking skills! I started doing this because I am a man and I want meals that I can easily make and taste better than rice + sugar! So, if you have any suggestions please do not hesitate to let me know…

Now, I can’t take credit for this meal, this is all Ms. Underhill for this one. So thank her! Please check out Decadent Butters, the sponsor for this #ManMeal! :

Grilled Salmon

#2010 Goals – If You Haven’t Done Yours Yet

I am sure I am not the only one to do my #2010 Goals and I am actually glad I hadn’t. I learned something today that is huge (I am going to wait to share it though and it would had drastically affected my #2010 Goals.

So, if you are looking to make goals for this year and need some place to start, I hope that this list will help you. Now, you can do goals for every sub area or just the major areas, either way it is up to you and I hope this helps.

Major Areas of Your Life:

1. Personal
2. Family
3. Professional
4. Community

Personal Sub Areas:

1. Spiritual
2. Financial
3. Health & Fitness
4. Education & Mental Development
5. Social Life & Relationship
6. Activities

Family Sub Areas:

1. Spouse
2. Home Life
3. Children
4. Parents
5. Extended Family

Community Sub Areas:

1. Local Community
2. National Community
3. International Community

What Do I Suggest? I suggest that you first look at these areas and start with the answer to this question, “What do I want to have accomplished in these areas [major or sub] when I die?” Then work backwards until you are at #2010.

*Hint* Please ensure you have someone that you can be accountable with so they will come back and check with you in 3 months to see if you have made any progress.

C.